Escaping the Memories
by SparrowsFlight
Summary: Sparrabeth. Post-AWE. Jack is having a hard time escaping the memory of Elizabeth and decides to stop at nothing to try and get her back. Please Review.


**Author's Notes: Hey guys! Yes, I AM alive!! I know that there's a lot of people whom have been waiting on a new chapter of "Not For Me" since October…waaaaay too long, I agree. I also apologize but I bring good tidings! I'm going to post a new chapter within the month! I hope I didn't lose my fan base for the story! So, please watch for that! )**

**As for this little story it was originally meant to be a one-shot but it'll probably be a two or three parter since this is all I have at the moment and still have many ideas. It's kinda different and more depressing than the others but I'm hoping on making it a happy ending. You just have to bare with the angst. I'd say this is Post-AWE too. So, I hope that you'll like it. Just wanted to test the waters here again. Please REVIEW even if you didn't care for it. Just be constructive with your comment. God Bless and Enjoy!!**

**Sparrabeth as always. )**

**Disclaimer: Bow to the mouse.**

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It didn't take much for an image or sudden flash of memory to overtake his mind. It could be when the cold drops of rain fell upon his sun darkened flesh that memories of a dozen storms that they had sailed through together at the helm were suddenly laid out before him. He'd place his dark hands upon her porcelain ones, gripping the spokes of the wheel with such intensity that both of their knuckles were white. In spite of the freezing rain and gale that was mauling the couple, she'd lean her head back against his shoulder and laugh with the carefree nature that only she could possess.

In the beginning he would ask her what she found so amusing and every time she'd say with a sly smirk, "Nothing at all, Captain." But Jack knew better. He knew because he was feeling it too. It was the incredible rush of freedom.

The beautiful expanse of the ocean herself often triggered the most memories. One moment he would be calling out orders to his crew and the next he'd be lost in deep memories as a spray of salt water splashed against his face. She would be there. Smiling brightly, beckoning him to her with a rush of excitement. He would come to her questioningly and turn his head to peek over the port side of the ship as she pointed wildly to the depths of the ocean. He waited a moment and almost thought her to be daft when a grey shape sprung into the air and back into the ocean, splashing salt water into the air with its decent. A dolphin. He turned to face her and she was positively beaming. She pointed again and he turned his attention back to the ocean. Another dolphin was leaping forward with just as much strength and gusto as the first, the pair eventually falling into unison. Again she laughed, a melodic noise to his ears.

"I think they're racing us!" she smiled and he couldn't help but smile back with the same enthusiasm that she now showed, as he took her in his arms and placed a loving kiss upon her forehead.

Gradually, that memory would fade into another as the past would continually bombard him. Once when they had made port in friendly docks he had surprised her by taking her to a secluded beach on the island to escape the confines of a ship. White sand scratched across her bare feet making a scooting noise as she made her way to the shallow waters of the turquoise ocean. She paused for a moment and let the tide wash over her feet before wading in further. She giggled like a small girl as she felt smaller fish, pushed inward by the tide, tickle her legs as they swam by.

As the sun began to fall low on the Caribbean horizon a soft wind blew through the air and she relished the feeling she had throughout her being, with the waves crashing lazily against her body. She breathed in deeply not ever believing that she could ever feel so peaceful. Except of course when she was in _his_ arms.

When things would finally become too distracting for him upon the deck of his beloved ship he would seek solace in the confines of his cabin. Even there, however, he found that he could not escape her for she was everywhere. From the books on his shelves, now arranged alphabetically after a restless evening, to the picture of a ship sailing into the horizon that she had acquired once when they made port, she was everywhere.

The portrait she insisted on hanging over the bed and it always hung crooked and haphazardly. It didn't matter how many times either of them set it straight, not long after it would be back to its slanted position. She shrugged it off with a grin and mentioned that it added to its charm and even reminded her of him…always half-balanced. He hadn't straightened it since then.

This evening, however, he didn't have the heart to think of such things. Slumping a little against the cabin door he sighed lightly, trying to clear his heart and mind. Pushing off from the door he swaggered to his map strewn desk glancing at his trusty compass as he passed it, but it was still the way that he had left it…spinning in circles. He shut it with a heavy sigh and swiftly grasped the unopened bottle of rum that was beside it. Landing with a heavy plop upon his bed he shrugged off his coat and vest; tossing them onto a chair, a few feet away. His hat and other affects followed before he freed his feet from the heavy, worn, leather boots. Digging his golden teeth into the rums cork, it easily came out with an unceremonious pop as he spit it onto the floor and took a long swig.

The liquid rushed down his throat leaving a fire in its wake. Fire. Rum. And just like that he was propelled into another time. A time before they had fallen in love--or perhaps they already had fallen in love but were too stubborn to show it. The night had started innocently enough. A man, a woman, two bottles of wonderful Caribbean rum and a bonfire complete with off key pirate songs. There was a lot of flirting and then all he remembered was darkness. Nothing was memorable until he was pulled out of his rum induced coma by a smell most foul. He could have killed her. He certainly _wanted_ to kill her. Rum bottles blew in the background and he literally felt pain in his heart. The absolute cruelty…and the genius of it all. Yes, he wanted to kill her but he admired her quick thinking even more.

With a groan he finished the bottles contents and tossed it aside uncaringly as the glass shattered on the floor. He couldn't even drink to escape her. Laying back against the pillows on his bed he roughly pulled the covers over him and squeezed his eyes shut, willing sleep to claim him, but there she was. He could make out every line on her face, every freckle on her skin. Her laughter echoed around him and then her voice finally crept into his mind. It sounded as if she were right beside him speaking. He shifted onto his left side uncomfortably and then to his stomach, burying his face into his pillow but she was still there. With one last frustrated flop he was on his back, eyes cast upwards to the heavens.

He dared to steal a glance to his left to gaze at the empty pillow beside him. Feeling a lump rise in his throat he leaned forward and inhaled the pillows' scent…her scent. Feeling water, uncharacteristic of a pirate forming in his eyes he threw the covers off of his body and jumped out of bed. He instantly regretted it as the sudden movement mixed with the consumed bottle of rum made the world spin. He clutched the wall, keeping himself upright until the feeling passed. Stumbling forward he rifled through his personal cabinets until he found a second bottle of rum.

Without anymore hesitation he downed the remaining contents in two large gulps, ignoring the burning feeling. Gasping for a breath he dropped the bottle and brought his hands to his head. He couldn't stand feeling like this. So, broken and out of control. It's not that he wanted to forget everything. Certainly not. It was just too painful to remember.

You see, she was gone. She left him. But not in the way you'd probably think. His pirate lass…his governors daughter…his best friend…the only woman that had ever captured his heart and soul was dead.

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**Okay, so that's it for this chapter. Please let me know how you feel about it. Whether I should continue or not. I have a little more written. Fans of "Not For Me" keep your eyes peeled for the next chapter!! Thanks! **


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